Short sardar jokes

Really Funny Jokes

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Thursday, July 5, 2007

Short sardar jokes

Enjoy 2 -3 liner short sardar jokes


Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

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How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

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What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand
grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What do you do when a Sardar throws a
pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand
grenade in his mouth.

-------

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

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What is the Sardar doing when he holds
his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

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Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on
Monday.

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Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

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How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

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What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear
to ear?
A wind tunnel.
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What do you see when you look into a
Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.

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What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

-------

What do you call a sardar who has only
one drink?
Just-one Singh.

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Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Sardarji Jokes

A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny
object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The sardar then asks, "What does it do?"
he clerk responds, "It
keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold
things cold."
The sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with
this new thermos.
His sardar boss sees him and asks,"What
is that shiny object with
you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says,"What does it do?" He
replies, "It keeps hot
things
hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in
it?"
The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee
and a coke."

------------------

A Sardar took an answering machine home
and fixed it home somewhere
in Rajasthan, but two days later
disconnected it because he was getting
complaints like "Saala phone utha ke
bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"


-------------------



Once there was a meeting of all the Surd
freedom fighters. They were
planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll
get Punjab from India but how
would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed.
Suddenly Banta Singh replied,
"No problem! we'll attack USA, it would
take over us and then we
would
be a state of USA and we'll
automatically get developed."
All the surds became happy on this very
simple solution
but an old surd did not utter a single
word. Someone asked him why he
wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH!
THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD
HAPPEN
IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Sardar Jokes

A Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color
TVs?"
"Sure."
Give me a green one, please."

-----------------------------------
A Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it
take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.

----------------------------
EMPLOYMENT..
Our sardarji was filling up an application form
for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled
NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He
was not sure as to what to be filled there.
after much thought he wrote : Yes

----------------------------------
CROCODILE BOOTS..
A Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if
you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets
off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search
is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles
and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over
the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims
"71st and *again* barefeet!"

Monday, April 30, 2007

Sardar Jokes

In aptitude test...River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state (brilliant answer).


INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.


Sardar starts shouting in a store...... where is my free gift with this
oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Sardar: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE.

Sardar 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha
Baap ne puchha "kya kar rahe ho?"
Sardar : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.



Sardar: in my dreams rats play football evry night
DR: take this tablet you will be ok
Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final match

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Short sardar jokes

Really Funny Jokes

Welcome to Really Funny Jokes and Hilarious Jokes. Please bookmark us and visit daily for free jokes.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Short sardar jokes

Enjoy following four Sardar Jokes

* Sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird dropped a load when it was directly over him. The Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."

* Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

* Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world? Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.

* Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his checks so no one else could use them if he lost his checkbook?

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Sardar jokes-Relaxing!

Once Santa Singh sardarji was taking rest in a beach . . . An English man came 2 him and asked "Are u relaxing?"
Sardar replied : "NO! I'm Santa singh" :) . . .
After sometime another English man came and asked "Are u relaxing?"
Sardar replied :"NO! I'm Santa Singh" :) . . .
After that he got fed up when again a English man asked that ... so he left that place in anger . . . After leaving the place, while he was walking, he saw one Englishman sitting aside alone .. He went near him and asked the man "Are u relaxing?".
The Englishman replied "YES! I'm relaxing" . . .
SARDARJI GAVE HIM 2 SLAPS AND SAID "
All are searching for u there and u are sitting here alone! "

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Sardar Joke - Going to moon

Two Sardarjis, both student , were talking about the American astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Sardar jokes

Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
Banta : I give up.
Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music
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Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."
Judge : "But why ?"
Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me."
Judge : "How do you know ?"
Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Sardar jokes-forgetful

One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on The thirteenth floor building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

Friday, September 21, 2007

sardar jokes

Santa and Banta were drawing money from ATM
SANTA : i have seen your password - it's 4 stars( ****)
BANTA : ha ha ha ha..... wrong, it's 1258

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

sardar jokes

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
Santa thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.
But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"
Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word....

Sardar joke

Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.
Jasmeet: 'What are you searching for?'
Santa: 'Hidden cameras!'
Jasmeet: 'And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?'
Santa: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing.
Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching MTV! How does he know that?'

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Sardar jokes-Drunk Santa Singh

There was once a competition involving three gruelling tests. The participants had to do the following in immediate succession:
1.) Drink five bottles of hard whiskey in one go
2) Enter a room where there was a starving lion and pluck out its eyes with bare hands.
3) And then screw a very horny babe to her full satisfaction.
Many people bravely tried their hands (or should I say mouths) at it. Few could get beyond the first stage. And the inebriated few who managed it, got promptly eaten up by the starving lion. There was none who could read the third stage.
And then, one fine day, Santa Singh walked into the contest. Five bottles of whiskey were nothing for him. He emptied five bottles in five gulps. Then he said, " Bhale change hai hum, thagde hai. Bathao, lion kahan hai." When shown the room, he coolly walked in.
There was no hint of fear on his face, but rather the cool confidence of a person who knew he could do it.
Sounds of a mammoth fight came from the room. Screams of the Sardar and growls of the lion were intermingled. Thumps and thuds which shook the very earth ensued. All of a sudden there was a piercing, heart-rending roar from the Lion.
The audience waited with bated breath, their hair stood on end. And then, as suddenly as it had begun, the titanic roar stopped. An eerie silence prevailed.
As the audience watched, with eyes popping out, the door of the room opened, and out came the Sardar. Badly bruised, with blood streaming from his face, hands and legs, he stumbled out - victorious, nevertheless. His face had the glow of satisfaction of an emperor who had just won a battle.
And then he asked, "Where is the woman whose eyes I have to pluck out?"

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Monday, September 10, 2007

Sardar joke - Sick pet

A Sardar dials the vet's number in the middle of the night, "Doctor, this is an emergency. My favourite dog has collapsed. I am not too sure whether he is already dead. Please advise what to do." ...
"First of all, you need to confirm whether he is dead" ...said the vet.
- "Okay, just hold on for a minute please" ... answered Sardarji.

There was a silence for about a minute, and then the vet could hear a gunshot over the phone.
- "Yes, it's confirmed that he's dead ... next advice please" ... asked the Sardar.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Sardar joke - Trust

Two sardars go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener.

The first sardar turns to the second and says, "You'v gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."

"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food."

"I promise I won't," says the other sardar. "Just hurry!"

Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second sardar.

Exasperated and starving, the first sardar digs into the sandwiches.

Suddenly, the second sardar pops out from behind a rock and yells, "THATS IT!!! I knew it....now I'm not going!"

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Sardar joke - Buying TV

A Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,"
Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then
waited a few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. Frustrated,he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

Monday, September 3, 2007

sardar joke - clock

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

sardar joke

Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up
the iron and stuck it to my ear." " Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Sardar Jokes

Enjoy 13 short sardar jokes !

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing
is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

************************************************************
Sardar: I haven’t slept all night in the train.
Friend: Why?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Why didn’t u exchange?
Sardar: Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..

************************************************************
A Sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge loss.
Do you know what the business was?
He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab!

*************************************************************
Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again had twins & named Max & Climax.
Again the same! Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!

*************************************************************
19 SARDARS WENT for A FILM.ON ASKING THEM WHY THEY CAME IN A BIG
GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR PEOPLE ABOVE 18…

**************************************************************
Sardar standing below a tube light with an open
mouth…………….. WHY?
Because his doctor advised him “Tonight’s dinner should be light”

**************************************************************
Sardar was filling up application form for a job. He was not
sure as to what to be filled in column “Salary Expected”.
After much thought he wrote: Yes!

**************************************************************
SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF -
I SARDAR, SHE SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY!

**************************************************************
One Sardar professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…

**************************************************************
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it….

***************************************************************
What does a Sardar do after taking a Xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

***************************************************************
WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
** THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.

****************************************************************
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. Judge
asked:
How’ll U divide, U”VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Sardar Joke - Santa and Banta

Banta Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree. He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph." The rest is history.
He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital. He was surprised to see Santa Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse condition. Banta explained what happened to him. He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay." He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay." He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up" Daughters?". The Owner asked,"WHY?????????" Santa replied,"I wanted to stay here for a night....." The rest is history.

Sardar Joke - Kidnap

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying:
"I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".

Signed: "A Sardarji".


Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree.The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:

"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and Please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji

Friday, August 10, 2007

sardar joke in hindi

Due to the increasing sardar jokes in the country,
santa and banta were little tensed..

They both decide to arrange a seminar in hariyana for
this issue..
the subject of the seminar was "Ban Sardar Jokes".

After the seminar gets over, santa and banta along wid
some more sardarji's leave for delhi to meet the
Cultural Affairs minister shri Surinder Singh..

After waitin for a long time they get the chance to
meet the minister..

On meeting the minister Santa shouts loudly "Kaise
sardarji ho ji aap, Desh mein din ba din Sardarjiyo
par joke likha ja raha hai aur aap Mantri ho kar bhi,
kuch karte hi nahi.. aap turant in jokes par ban
lagaiye.."

After thinkin for a little time the minister says
"Mere pyare sardarji Bhaiyon, aap in jokes ko dil se
kyon lete ho, jokes to jokes hai, aur waise bhi hum
sardarji log kuch buddhu hote hain.."

On hearing this, Santa and banta gets angry n shouts
"arre mantri jara sabit kar ke dikhao ki sardarji
buddhu hain.."

The minister says," Oye, ye lo ji, is mein konsi badi
baat hai, abhi lo.." n he calls his driver "oye Mika
singh, jara idhar aa".

Mika comes in the cabin.. Minister says.. "oye mika ja
daud ke ja aur pata kar ki mein ghar pahuncha ki
nahi.. Mika goes away..

Then the minister says.. "Dekh lo kitna buddhu hai,
Telephone kar ke nahi puch sakta tha.."

Saturday, August 4, 2007

New short Sardar jokes

Enjoy following four short sardarji jokes !

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

============ ======

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

============ ======

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.


============ ======
2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

sardarji jokes

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from
his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.

sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

============ ======
Hindi Sardar Joke

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?

Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

============ ======

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

============ ======

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it

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Sardar jokes-One wish !

Really Funny Jokes

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Monday, May 26, 2008

Sardar jokes-One wish !

Santa and Banta were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat`s provisions, Santa stumbled across an old lamp.
Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, one did come forth!
This particular Genie; however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter Santa blurted out, "Turn the entire ocean into beer!"
Immediately the Genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned to the finest brew.
Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to her freedom.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the sudden stillness as Santa and Banta considered their circumstances. Banta looked disgustedly at Santa and after a long, tension filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going! Now we`re going to have to pee in the boat!!"

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Sardar jokes-Santa & Banta go out Fishing

Santa and Banta decided to rent a boat on a lake for their favorite sport fishing.
After fishing for 4 hours at various places around the lake with no luck at all they decided to try one more spot before calling it quits, Suddenly things started to happen, and they caught plenty of fish within twenty minutes.
Banta said, "Hey we should mark this spot, so next time we will know where to come."
Santa says, "Good idea", and he took out a can of spray paint and made a large X on the floor of the boat....to mark the spot....
Seeing that Banta shouted, "Why did you do that, now anyone who rents this boat will know where to fish!"

Friday, May 9, 2008

Sardar jokes-Remarry

Santa: If I die, will you remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?
Santa: No, I'll also stay with your sister.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Sardar jokes-Nobel prize

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a sardar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the sardar and asks him, "Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?"
Santa replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

Monday, January 14, 2008

Sardar jokes-Suger level

Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.
Wife observes the whole episode.
Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?
Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Sardar jokes-Engine failure

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry. We can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry. We still have one engine left."
A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Sardar jokes-Puzzle

Two Sardar walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, "51 days! 51 Days!!" About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.
Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, "51 days!51 days!!
The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, "What on earth are you doing??"
"Well," the Sardar says, "everyone thinks Sardar are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Sardar jokes-Going home early

Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they'll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?
The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.
The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.
The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.
The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!"

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Sardar jokes-Hanging for life

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.
Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, "I'll get off."
After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Sardar jokes - Weight loss

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would
lose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,
but he had a problem.

"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.

I'm 2400 kms from home.

Short sardarji joke - Accident

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!

Sardar : Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Sardar joke - Santa banta fishing

santa singh & banta singh rented a boat and fished in a lake every day.

One day they had a huge haul of 30 fish. santa said to banta.

"There's lots of fish here! Mark this spot so that we can come here

tomorrow." The next day when they were driving to rent the boat,

santa asked banta , "Did you mark that spot?" banta replied,

"Yeah, I put a big X on the bottom of the boat!" santa said, "You fool! What if we dont get that same boat today!?!?"

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Sardar jokes-Santa in heaven

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Santa thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.
But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"
Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word"

Monday, November 19, 2007

Sardar jokes-Santa and Banta

Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.
The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.
The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?
Banta says, "Oh, about 8 to 10 feet."
The boss says, "Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you're no miner!"
On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.
The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?
Santa says, "Oh sure."
The boss asks how deep underground he worked.
Santa says, "I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. "
The boss says, "20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, "What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? "
Santa says, "Oh, I didn't need a light, I worked on the day shift!"

Monday, November 5, 2007

Sardar jokes-Who dunnit

The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?
No, your honor," replied Banta, "I've got a lawyer to do the defending. I'm the person who done it.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Sardar jokes

Santa: My wife is still scared of water
Banta: how come?
Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!
----------

Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.
Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml
now it's 1.5 ltr.

-----------
Nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.
Santa: don't tell my wife, i want to surprise her!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Sardar jokes-The archery contest

Once upon a time there was an archery contest.
The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position...
He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM...... ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!
The second archer with a cape lines up in position.
He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood's arrow into two!!!
He takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!
Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position... He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!
It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams:
I AM...... SORRY

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Santa banta sardar jokes

Santa: Wow Banta, Where did you get the cycle, from?
Banta: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this cycle and asked me -"want a ride Mr. Singh?"
I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr. Singh. take anything"
Santa is quite excited and asks "What did you do Santa?"
Banta: I took the cycle.
Santa: good show - you wouldn’t have fit into her clothes!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Really funny jokes-Santa answer Medical Terminology

Have you heard of Mr. Santa Singh applying to a medical school to become a doctor?
Needless to say he never made it. You know why?
These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.
Antibody - against everyone
Artery - The study of the paintings.
Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.
Caesarean section - a district in Rome.
Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.
Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.
Chronic - neck of a crow.
Coma - punctuation mark.
Cortisone - area around local court.
Cyst - short for sister.
Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.
Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.
Dislocation - in this place.
Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.
Enema - not a friend.
Fake labour - pretending to work.
Genes - blue denim.
Hernia - she is close by.
Impotent - distinguished/ well known.
Labour pain - hurt at work.
Lactose - people without toes.
Lymph - walk unsteadily.
Microbes - small dressing gown.
Obesity - city of Obe.
Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.
Proteins - in favour of teens.
Pulse - grain.
Pus - small cat.
Red blood count - Dracula.
Secretion - hiding anything.
Tablet - small table.
Ultrasound - radical noise.
Urine - opposite of you're out.
Varicose - very close.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Short sardar jokes - santa banta

Enjoy 5 short sardar jokes !

• Q: How do you recognize a Santa's son in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

• Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?
Banta: Me too, after you leave.

• Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one."
Wife: I'll bet it's that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.

• Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

• The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?
No, your honor," replied Banta, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it.

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Sardar jokes-Lost cheque book

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Friday, July 3, 2009

Sardar jokes-Lost cheque book

Sardar lost his cheque book .
Next day, he goes to Bank manager to inform him about it .
Manager says : Be careful any one can put your signatures, check daily with bank as our computers
are not working, I can't arrange for stop payments.
Sardar: Dont worry Manager , I have already signed all cheques, so nobody can sign.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Short funny jokes-Heaven

Sardar's wife: You know, husband & wife aren't allowed to be together in heaven!
Sardar: Yes, I do.That's why it's called heaven!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sardar Jokes-Bar in New York

Man on his right says “Johny Walker single”.
Man on his left says “Peter Scotch single”.
Sardar says - “Baljith Singh Married”

Friday, April 24, 2009

Sardar jokes-On the roof

Q. How do you get Sardar on the roof?
A. Tell him the drinks are on the house.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Sardar jokes-Hold on

Q. What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A. Trying to hold on to a thought.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Sardar jokes-35 runs

In one local cricket match, a Sardar raised his bat on making 35 runs.
His partner asked "Sardar, there is no century or half century or winning moment. Why did you raise your bat?"
The Sardar replies,
"You don't know the value of 35 scores (passing marks). I know it from my school time."

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Sardar jokes-Clock has arrived

Santa Singh's wife was expecting and the baby was due any day. Santa was very confident it would be a boy and was looking forward to the D-day.
As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city and had to join office immediately. Before going, he asked his father -in-law to send a telegram confirming birth of his son. But in order to avoid giving party to his office colleagues, he asks his father -in-law to write "The clock has arrived" and he will understand that the son is born.
The D-day arrived. His wife delivered a cute little baby girl.
Now Santa's father-in-law didn't know what to do.
If he writes "the clock has arrived" Santa will think he has got a Son.
If he writes "clock has not arrived" Santa will get worried that something serious has happened.
But being a very intelligent person, he finds a solution and sends the telegram.
Santa received the telegram, opened it eagerly and reads
"The clock has arrived, but the pendulum is missing".

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Sardar jokes-Pin

Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy….he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Indian Sardar Jokes - Relax

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing (relax singh)" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing " Our Sardar slapped him on his face and said, " Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai.(Everybody is searching you there and you are enjoying here.)"

Monday, December 1, 2008

Sardar jokes-Hand Grenade

Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Funny Indian sardar Jokes - Interview

Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good.
Santa Singh: Bad.

Interviewer: Come.
Santa Singh: Go.

Interviewer: Ugly.
Santa Singh: Pichlli.

Interviewer: U G L Y?
Santa Singh: PICHLLY !!!!!!!

Interviewer: Shut Up.
Santa Singh: Keep Talking.

Interviewer: Get Out.
Santa Singh: Come In.

Interviewer: Oh my God.
Santa Singh: Oh your Devil.

Interviewer: You are Rejected.
Santa Singh: I am Selected.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Sardar jokes-Modern Art

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Hindi jokes-Suicide Sardarji

Suicide Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" (Why do you take these things with you?). Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!)

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Sardar jokes-Heaven

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
Santa thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.
But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"
Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word....

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Sardar jokes-Kill the bird!

Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A. He threw it off a cliff.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Sardar jokes-Ice cubes

Q. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
A. They always forget the recipe.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Sardar jokes-Cup

Banta: Why are all these people running?
Jeet: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Santa: If only winner will get the cup, why are others running?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Sardar jokes-Bomb

There were two Sardarjis Bantya and Santya, employed as bombers. They had to place a time bomb in order to explode a building. So they were going on their destination in a car. On their way Bantya asked Santya, "Santya what will happen if the time bomb explodes in this car itself." Santya replied "Don't worry, I have a spare one!!!!!"

Monday, June 23, 2008

Sardar jokes-Out on Trip

Banta and his secretary, overcome by passion, go to his house for an early afternoon "quickie."
"Don't worry," he purrs. "My wife is out of town on a trip, so there's no risk."
As one thing leads to another, the secretary reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, "We have to stop, I forgot to bring birth control!"
"No problem," Banta replies. "I'll get Jeeto's diaphragm."
After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom in a fury.
"That woman!" Banta exclaims. "She took it with her! I always knew she didn't trust me!"

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Sardar jokes-Poetic conversation

Santa and Tomy Blair were having candle-light dinner.
Tony Blair said, "Pass the wine u divine"
Santa thinks "How poetic"
Then Santa says "Pass the custard u bastard"

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