Saturday, November 13, 2010

Really Funny Jokes

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Sunday, October 14, 2007

Short sardar jokes

Enjoy following four Sardar Jokes

* Sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird dropped a load when it was directly over him. The Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."

* Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

* Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world? Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.

* Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his checks so no one else could use them if he lost his checkbook?

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Sardar jokes-Relaxing!

Once Santa Singh sardarji was taking rest in a beach . . . An English man came 2 him and asked "Are u relaxing?"
Sardar replied : "NO! I'm Santa singh" :) . . .
After sometime another English man came and asked "Are u relaxing?"
Sardar replied :"NO! I'm Santa Singh" :) . . .
After that he got fed up when again a English man asked that ... so he left that place in anger . . . After leaving the place, while he was walking, he saw one Englishman sitting aside alone .. He went near him and asked the man "Are u relaxing?".
The Englishman replied "YES! I'm relaxing" . . .
SARDARJI GAVE HIM 2 SLAPS AND SAID "
All are searching for u there and u are sitting here alone! "

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Sardar Joke - Going to moon

Two Sardarjis, both student , were talking about the American astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Sardar jokes

Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
Banta : I give up.
Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music
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Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."
Judge : "But why ?"
Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me."
Judge : "How do you know ?"
Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Sardar jokes-forgetful

One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on The thirteenth floor building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

Friday, September 21, 2007

sardar jokes

Santa and Banta were drawing money from ATM
SANTA : i have seen your password - it's 4 stars( ****)
BANTA : ha ha ha ha..... wrong, it's 1258

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

sardar jokes

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
Santa thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.
But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"
Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word....

Sardar joke

Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.
Jasmeet: 'What are you searching for?'
Santa: 'Hidden cameras!'
Jasmeet: 'And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?'
Santa: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing.
Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching MTV! How does he know that?'

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Sardar jokes-Drunk Santa Singh

There was once a competition involving three gruelling tests. The participants had to do the following in immediate succession:
1.) Drink five bottles of hard whiskey in one go
2) Enter a room where there was a starving lion and pluck out its eyes with bare hands.
3) And then screw a very horny babe to her full satisfaction.
Many people bravely tried their hands (or should I say mouths) at it. Few could get beyond the first stage. And the inebriated few who managed it, got promptly eaten up by the starving lion. There was none who could read the third stage.
And then, one fine day, Santa Singh walked into the contest. Five bottles of whiskey were nothing for him. He emptied five bottles in five gulps. Then he said, " Bhale change hai hum, thagde hai. Bathao, lion kahan hai." When shown the room, he coolly walked in.
There was no hint of fear on his face, but rather the cool confidence of a person who knew he could do it.
Sounds of a mammoth fight came from the room. Screams of the Sardar and growls of the lion were intermingled. Thumps and thuds which shook the very earth ensued. All of a sudden there was a piercing, heart-rending roar from the Lion.
The audience waited with bated breath, their hair stood on end. And then, as suddenly as it had begun, the titanic roar stopped. An eerie silence prevailed.
As the audience watched, with eyes popping out, the door of the room opened, and out came the Sardar. Badly bruised, with blood streaming from his face, hands and legs, he stumbled out - victorious, nevertheless. His face had the glow of satisfaction of an emperor who had just won a battle.
And then he asked, "Where is the woman whose eyes I have to pluck out?"

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sardar jokes

Monday, September 10, 2007

Sardar joke - Sick pet

A Sardar dials the vet's number in the middle of the night, "Doctor, this is an emergency. My favourite dog has collapsed. I am not too sure whether he is already dead. Please advise what to do." ...
"First of all, you need to confirm whether he is dead" ...said the vet.
- "Okay, just hold on for a minute please" ... answered Sardarji.

There was a silence for about a minute, and then the vet could hear a gunshot over the phone.
- "Yes, it's confirmed that he's dead ... next advice please" ... asked the Sardar.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Sardar joke - Trust

Two sardars go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener.

The first sardar turns to the second and says, "You'v gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."

"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food."

"I promise I won't," says the other sardar. "Just hurry!"

Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second sardar.

Exasperated and starving, the first sardar digs into the sandwiches.

Suddenly, the second sardar pops out from behind a rock and yells, "THATS IT!!! I knew it....now I'm not going!"

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Sardar joke - Buying TV

A Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,"
Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then
waited a few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. Frustrated,he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

Monday, September 3, 2007

sardar joke - clock

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

sardar joke

Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up
the iron and stuck it to my ear." " Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Sardar Jokes

Enjoy 13 short sardar jokes !

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing
is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

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Sardar: I haven’t slept all night in the train.
Friend: Why?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Why didn’t u exchange?
Sardar: Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..

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A Sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge loss.
Do you know what the business was?
He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab!

*************************************************************
Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again had twins & named Max & Climax.
Again the same! Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!

*************************************************************
19 SARDARS WENT for A FILM.ON ASKING THEM WHY THEY CAME IN A BIG
GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR PEOPLE ABOVE 18…

**************************************************************
Sardar standing below a tube light with an open
mouth…………….. WHY?
Because his doctor advised him “Tonight’s dinner should be light”

**************************************************************
Sardar was filling up application form for a job. He was not
sure as to what to be filled in column “Salary Expected”.
After much thought he wrote: Yes!

**************************************************************
SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF -
I SARDAR, SHE SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY!

**************************************************************
One Sardar professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…

**************************************************************
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it….

***************************************************************
What does a Sardar do after taking a Xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

***************************************************************
WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
** THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.

****************************************************************
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. Judge
asked:
How’ll U divide, U”VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Sardar Joke - Santa and Banta

Banta Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree. He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph." The rest is history.
He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital. He was surprised to see Santa Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse condition. Banta explained what happened to him. He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay." He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay." He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up" Daughters?". The Owner asked,"WHY?????????" Santa replied,"I wanted to stay here for a night....." The rest is history.

Sardar Joke - Kidnap

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying:
"I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".

Signed: "A Sardarji".


Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree.The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:

"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and Please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji

Friday, August 10, 2007

sardar joke in hindi

Due to the increasing sardar jokes in the country,
santa and banta were little tensed..

They both decide to arrange a seminar in hariyana for
this issue..
the subject of the seminar was "Ban Sardar Jokes".

After the seminar gets over, santa and banta along wid
some more sardarji's leave for delhi to meet the
Cultural Affairs minister shri Surinder Singh..

After waitin for a long time they get the chance to
meet the minister..

On meeting the minister Santa shouts loudly "Kaise
sardarji ho ji aap, Desh mein din ba din Sardarjiyo
par joke likha ja raha hai aur aap Mantri ho kar bhi,
kuch karte hi nahi.. aap turant in jokes par ban
lagaiye.."

After thinkin for a little time the minister says
"Mere pyare sardarji Bhaiyon, aap in jokes ko dil se
kyon lete ho, jokes to jokes hai, aur waise bhi hum
sardarji log kuch buddhu hote hain.."

On hearing this, Santa and banta gets angry n shouts
"arre mantri jara sabit kar ke dikhao ki sardarji
buddhu hain.."

The minister says," Oye, ye lo ji, is mein konsi badi
baat hai, abhi lo.." n he calls his driver "oye Mika
singh, jara idhar aa".

Mika comes in the cabin.. Minister says.. "oye mika ja
daud ke ja aur pata kar ki mein ghar pahuncha ki
nahi.. Mika goes away..

Then the minister says.. "Dekh lo kitna buddhu hai,
Telephone kar ke nahi puch sakta tha.."

Saturday, August 4, 2007

New short Sardar jokes

Enjoy following four short sardarji jokes !

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

============ ======

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

============ ======

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.


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2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

sardarji jokes

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from
his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.

sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

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Hindi Sardar Joke

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?

Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

============ ======

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

============ ======

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it

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