Short funny jokes-Average age

Really Funny Jokes

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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Short funny jokes-Average age

Q. What was the average age of a cave man?
A. Stone Age!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Hillbilly jokes-Possum

How many hillbillies does it take eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

Short funny jokes-F word

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Light bulb jokes-New age gurus

Q: How many New Age gurus does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - Change must come from within.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Ultimate jokes-Compilation of Mexican words

Compilation of Mexican words

'Heater' - My little sister started to choke, perro my mom told me to heater in the back.

'Juicy' - Hey Vato, I will roll a joint and ju tell me if juicy the cops!

'Sodas' - My vieja looks good and sodas her sister.

'Cheese' - Maria likes me pero cheese too fat.

'Chile ' - When my wife and I were dating, she was fine, but since we got married chile herself go.

'Juarez ' - My vieja slapped me and I said, juarez your *uckin problem! Bish!

'Chicken' - My wife wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go herself.

'Harrassment' - Orale vato my old lady caught me n bed wit my sancha pero harrasment nothing to me!!!

'Water' - My vieja gets mad and I dont even know water problem is.

'Brief' - My homie farted gacho bad, and I could not brief.

'Mushroom' - Orale vato, when all my familia gets in the car, there is not mushroom.

'Frito' - After arguing with the pinche policia he told me i wuz frito go.

'Wafer' - I wanted to go to the movies with my friends, pero los mensos didn't wafer me.

'July' - You told me you were going to the store and July to me! Julyer!

'Liver and Cheese' - Some vato tried to sweet talk my ruca, I told him 'orale loco liver alone, cheese mines.'

Short funny jokes-Harley and Hoover

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Short funny jokes-Gasping for breath

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Sardar jokes--Swallowed a key

Santa: I have swallowed a Key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Short funny jokes-Elephant's legs

Q) If an elephant's front legs were doing 60 miles per hour...what would the back legs be doing?

A) Hauling ass !!!!!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Short funny jokes-Northern and Southern

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t..."

Friday, January 1, 2010

Light bulb jokes-Jewish mothers

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. I'll sit here in the dark. I'm fine. It's not like I got any letters to read.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Short funny jokes-Witnesses

Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Short funny jokes-Computer dating service

A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn't care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character.
Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence.
The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common -- they were both pathological liars.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Short funny jokes-Plaque

What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Short funny jokes-Bull fighters

Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Short funny jokes-LAPD

LAPD OFFICER: "We arrested this man beating the living daylights out of some poor slob for no reason at all! What should we charge him with?"
DESK SERGEANT: "Impersonating an Officer."

Monday, December 21, 2009

Really funny jokes-Small talk

Service in the restaurant was extremely slow. The husband was starting to flip out, so his wife tried to distract him with small talk.
"You know," she said, "our friend Rachael should be having her baby anytime now."
"Really?" the husband snapped. "She wasn't even pregnant when we walked in here."

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Short funny jokes-Stolen

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Engineer jokes-Broke

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it is perfect, then expand it and add more features until it breaks.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Short funny jokes-Novocain

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.

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Clean jokes-Before it gets cold

Really Funny Jokes

Welcome to Really Funny Jokes and Hilarious Jokes. Please bookmark us and visit daily for free jokes.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Clean jokes-Before it gets cold

A boy takes his girlfriend on a date. They went to a coffee shop and they ordered coffee.

The boy told to his girlfriend, “Drink quickly before it gets cold.”

Girlfriend asked with surprise, “Why?”

The boy replied, “Don’t u see, Hot coffee is for $5 and cold coffee for $10 !”

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Yo mama jokes-Drawers

Yo mama's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Short funny jokes-Social security benefits

After showing my husband what his Social Security benefits would be after I kicked the can, he said, "That's not even enough to get my new wife's hair done each month!"

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Doctor jokes-Bad breath

"My dentist has bad breath……Why every time he smokes he blows onion rings."

Friday, February 19, 2010

Funny Period Jokes - Importance of periods

Teacher : Do you know the importance of periods ?

Student : Yes once my sister she has missed two , my mom fainted , father got heart attack and our driver run away .

Monday, February 15, 2010

Short funny jokes-Chicken skeleton

Q. Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ?
A. Because he didn't have enough guts.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Short funny riddles

What's hard and pink when it goes in, and wet and sticky when it comes out?
.
.
.
Bubble gum !

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Student Joke of the day - Girl

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?

Student : A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Short funny jokes-Time to pray

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night..
"Yes sir," the boy replied.
"And, do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked.
"No sir," the boy replied. "I ain't scared in the daytime."

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Short one liner jokes - Mans heart

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is

through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Short funny jokes-Best costume

Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party ?
Because he just came to pick up his little sister !

Monday, February 1, 2010

Short Joke - Husband Wife

Phone rings,

Husband: If it is for me then say that I am not at home.

Wife answered: He is at home.

Shocked Husband: What the Hell?

Wife: It was for me !!

Short funny hillbilly jokes-Married

How can you tell if a hillbilly is married?
There are tobacco juice stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Birthday party jokes-Clam

What does a clam do on his birthday?
He shellabrates!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Short funny jokes-Quietest place

What is the quietest place in the world?
The complaint department of the parachute company.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Really funny jokes-Dreadful fight

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister.
"Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "It's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"

Friday, January 22, 2010

Birthday jokes-Comb

Q. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A. Thanks. I'll never part with it!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Really funny jokes-Off to college

The wife was crying as her daughter went off to college. Her husband consoled her,
"Don't think of it as losing a daughter. Think of it as gaining both a telephone and a bathroom."

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Short funny jokes-Moosehead

What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Short funny jokes-Positive

Two hydrogen atoms meet.
One says "I've lost my electron."
The other says "Are you sure?"
The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

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Short Women Jokes - Gas

Really Funny Jokes

Welcome to Really Funny Jokes and Hilarious Jokes. Please bookmark us and visit daily for free jokes.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Short Women Jokes - Gas

Why do women pass less gas than men?

Because women won't be quiet long enough to build up pressure!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Blonde jokes-Baseball

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who couldn’t wait to see 20,000 leagues under the sea?
A: He said that he loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Short hilarious jokes - Doctor

A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all his clothes and then send his husband a bill for it.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Short funny jokes - Superman

What is difference between man and Superman?

Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.

Kids jokes-Maths

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Very short funny jokes - Doctor

Patient: Doctor doctor, I think I need glasses.

Waiter: You certainly do, you've just walked into a fast food joint!!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Very short funny jokes - Credit card

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Very funny joke - Jurassic Park

Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat.

His friend asks him "What Sardarji? Are you afraid of the cinema?"

Sardarji replies "I am an intelligent man, I know it is a movie, but does that animal know?"

Monday, March 29, 2010

Barack Obama Jokes - TV news Acronyms

NBC: New Barack Channel

ABC: Another Barack Channel

MSNBC: My Seriously New Barack Channel

CBS: Continuous Barack Show

FOX: Flagrant Obama Xenophobes

Short funny jokes-Life's savings

Patient: I have spent 80% of my life's savings on doctors.
Doctor : Why didn't you come to me earlier?

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Blonde jokes-Hammering

Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering?
A: The noise gave her a headache!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Animal jokes-Favourite food

What is a whale's favourite food?

A sub sandwich.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Short funny jokes-Birthday present

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
In a cat-alogue!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Short funny jokes-Being 99

Grandma, is it exciting being 99?
It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Blonde jokes-In commercials

Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?

A: Double-dumb

Yo mama jokes-Nasty

- Yo mama's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!

- Yo mama's so nasty, she calls Janet "Miss Jackson."

- Yo mama's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Short funny jokes-Popcorn with fingers

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Short humor jokes-Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners:

Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Try & try, if you don't succeed, then CHEAT

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week

26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening, engaged or married to someone else!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Kids jokes-Better boy

A little boy was overheard praying:

'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.'

Friday, March 5, 2010

Short funny jokes-Werewolf and vampire

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...